I love to sleep. mug. burp. sunnysides. orange daisies. watersports. shopping. playing the piano. snacking. chocolates. MALTESERS. COLDROCK ICECREAM. picnics. movies, gore. reading novels, books. phonejamming. hanging out with my buddies. slumber parties. singing with my friends till we get out of tune. chills & chats till daybreak.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

Adina Amanda Amethyst Belicia Chenchen Daesiree Debbie Estherchong Esthergoh Estherlee Fionachia Fionalim Gladys Hsien Tze Iris Jonathan Jono Kennethleow Kohwei Kumyong Liyan Lovelle Luwei Marvin MichelleBay Munkidd Nicholas Ningyi Nissi Light Olivia Rachel Serena Shannon Shuyi Siewmay Sylvia Tommy Xiangliang Yijun Yining Yuhong Yunmei Zhimin

Every Little Thing - Dishwalla

To: boy #1
Hey sweetheart, everything halt. Yet, the fondness grows greater and greater each day. Imy, everyday. It's tough to get by, cause it's everything without you. But life moves on no matter how much desire there is for the past. The tension seems to grow between the both of us. It makes me wonder if you're my boy. But I can't deny that there was once a time when you had my heart fully to yourself. When you decided that you throw away half of it, you change my perspective, you change my heart. Crude to say, you can't blame me for what I've become, cause it started all from you. Ily more than you ever realised. You never see things deep enough, yet many times, the heartfelt truths are all buried deep down in the heart.

To: boy #2
Hey honey, maybe you aren't ready for me. But I can't wait for you my lifetime. Cause it is unfair and I wonder if you're really worth the wait. Sometimes I told myself that you're pretty much a very good catch. But I can't let you have it your way all the time, I want to know how much I mean to you. I want to know if I'm worth the chase. By merely telling me wasn't enough for me to know my worth. I need that adrenaline rush, I need that humility. And you ain't showing any of those signs.

To: boy #3
Hey darling, things between us have been rather awkward. There's so many things I hope I can tell you, but the barriers and distractions around us are way too much for us to spend time together. I feel awful for not knowing what to say upon seeing how screwed up you are. I'm really lost for words, and feel so inadequate and helpless, cause I can't walk this path with you. It is as if I left you behind, and you have to scramble by yourself. Yet, I feel that ache. Maybe the special bond between us was just a misleading path. We are just meant to be buddies. Maybe we both carried out a lil too far, and it's time we get back to where we meant to be.


P.S: Special & dear in your very own ways.
P.P.S: I love you. **************** I can't sleep despite being under several medications.
I'm bloody affected by the release of the Promotional results. That feeling sucks knowing that you'll move on, leaving a few people behind. I don't know how to tell 'someone' that it's all gonna be alright, cos I know it isn't. This is one occasion that you have no idea what to say or do to make 'someone' feel better. All I can say is, I'll be here for you all the way.



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11/11

MAKE A WISH.

It's eleventh november. 11/11
And I made a few wishes...
I wish, for daddy & mommy to get back.
I wish, situation at home to get better.
I wish, for special someone.
I wish, you forgive.
I wish, to truly love once again.

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Had lotsa fun with my classmates. 'Kewl' gang of people to hang out with! I love the black, the white, the minahz and the lianz. HAHA.

entourage.

Learn to love, back to basics.

**************** hey girls ! Sweet seventeennnn! I hope your special days are filled with much joy laughter love. One more year to eighteen! That will spell freedom ! (haha, we'll do naughty things together!)

SHANICE DEAR, we used to bicker alot during secondary sch days. but somehow we learn to tolerate with each other alot tis yr. Probably because we see each other less often. We should really meet up more often. love you sweetheart. study hard !

abcdefghappy !

happy seventeen girls. love you all.

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Hmm, it gets pretty heavy when you decide to bury your secret deep inside you It's like a car getting jammed and stucked within those dirty ground yet dying to restart the engine and head on. Imma glad I said my piece just now. I expected your reaction. In fact, it turned out very much the same, just like the way I thought it would. But it was a relief from all the truthfulness. It felt as though I could at least breathe a lil more. All I could say was, sorry boy; I shouldn't have. If you think you didn't matter, we wouldn't have come this far. I love you, and I know I don't say enough and show enough.

Promos results were out. My weak heart felt like dying that tuesday with all the scripts I'm getting at one shot. I felt like puking, my whole body wanted to collapse. And I didn't do that well compared to midyears. Well, I expected it. I mean with so many distractions in the midst of promos, how can I actually do well aight. But I guess promoting shouldn't be a problem.

School is a shit hellhole honestly. I can't further explain that. But despite all the angsty moments and depressing times, these people are there. I truly appreciate it.

First off, LORRAINE ONG. Thanks girl. All the night studies with you and that indian were totally fun. And thanks for being there. Though your innocent mind may not understand everything, but your effort to listen and being physically there (though sometimes your soul not there) have been appreciated. And we gonna promote and mug our ass off tgt. Don't worry girl.

Mag, oh god. I know I'm the biggest racist on earth. But at least you know, I'm faithful in loving one indian and that's you! You've been alot of help in my circumstances. It really make this rough sea easier to sail through with your advices and comfort. And I told myself, if an indian bimbo can go through, so do I. HAHA. You are stronger than you think you are. And trust me, you can get so much more from life without boys.

Adina: I realised we often get into heated arguments. But guess what, it doesn't change anything within our friendship. We know ultimately, we still care and love eachother. And I hope you realise that you mean alot to me more than you think. Esther Yen: Thanks for the 50 dollar voucher, I've to first say. HAHA. And all the trouble to get me to church. I've to say, I'm a troublesome person. Sorry for that.

To two of my dearest besties. Thanks for everything. I know no matter what happen, you guys will be there. Even if one day I decide to run away from home, I know fiona will be the first to keep me in. Thanks girl. And shan, sorry for my disappearing act. I love you guys very much.

Lastly, to tommy, rach & micbay. Ty. It's comforting to know that you guys will forgive no matter how dumb and horrible I am. Tommy, I honestly felt bad when you said that you're always the last person I turned to when all else fails and esp when I get very desperate and helpless. Ok, that's not exactly true, cos you're the second last. God is always the last. HAHA. You are harsh but I know you care. Rach, whenever it comes to you, I realised I'm loss for words. It's terribly annoying to hear me whine. It sucks I know. Actually I don't really know how that sucks, maybe I should tape-record it and hear it for myself. HAHA. And micbay, I don't know why, but though we don't meet up very often, I feel that we are so connected in a special way. Ok, I hope I don't give off any lesbian vibes. Many times, you're simply be there, no matter how tough it is. And I know I can count on you.

Ty, people. I love you guys.

And to the very someone, I love you too.

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Past few days/weeks were...screwed up.
Juggling with promos and other stuffs can totally kill me.
Phonecalls, distraught thoughts, hangover parties, and the list goes on. It's really obvious how my life is sucha drama to this fucking state that I hate it to the core.
Ok, I'm very tempermental and vulgar. Shit, I need to do sth about it.
At least promos is over, but I'm nervous about the results.

And I'm totally pissed with the school timetable. It's terribly messed up.
I've to report to school for assembly at 740am for Interhouse games. Yet, my game is at 2. Worst, I'm not allowed to leave the sch. Wth. It's freaking retarded. And I totally skipped it.
What more for hours of Pw tutorials ahead. Finishing sch at only 4.

Pushing all these aside, I'm going to UK, London real soon in Nov. I seriously can't wait! I did a lil shopping for my winter stuff. Walking into vivo with the new arrivals of Winter collection along the shelves, displaying with such glam and pride, my eyes nearly popped out. Goodness, everything is England to me. I need money. Lotsa of it. Maybe a thousand dollar all the way to christmas. It should be enough. Eh, maybe not. Maybe just a few hundred dollars more? haha.

Recently, I've been flooding my spare time with movies, dramas and books. Man, it's totally incested with love, romance, murder, sex, gore and whatnot. If I just lose my mind one day, I think i will become a killer. Omg, that's totally fun. I already have people in mind.

Excuse me for the whimy whines. I guess I'm not in any mood for anything nowadays. It sucks I know. It feels as if I'm keeping sth from you guys. Thing is, not everyone understands. Or rather, not everyone wish to understand. And I'm not ready for any scoldings or guilt trips. I'm too tired. I just want to do things in my own strike if that's possible.
Well, I shall end off with saying, hey, love you guys the same. Nothing between us will change. It's still the same.

Ok, off to my bigbangtheory. (:


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