"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn

Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

@ lolalimlumlabe_92@hotmail.com

Adina Amanda Amethyst Chenchen Esthergoh Estherlee Fionalim Gladys Jono Kennethleow Rachel Yijun Yuhong

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PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE % Pictures: Photobucket
% Brushes/Fonts: Henri Eshita
% designer: Weannz
% Basecode: Weannz

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I've finally got some time to get off all the work from school and chill my ass off.
Ok, just for today. Alright, maybe tomorrow too. Eh, we shall see I think. Haha.
Everywhere is kinda screwed up. A place where you thought you can always rely on or even get comfort from turns out to be one huge mess. I’m not siding anyone nor am I against or what. It’s very chaotic as it appears to be.
Whatever the case, I’m just getting by on my own pace, my own take. No more organizations and all the group shit.


1. I seriously need a new pair of shoes from sanuk!
2. I’m totally anticipating for the rings to be out.
3. Dar’s going to do his very first facial. (I <3>
4. I wanna go to new york for the eoy lit trip. (adina, I might get you sth, if I can afford.)
5. My trauma of free cone day isn’t over yet. (thks kumyong, but I think you can get me some other time. *BIG HINT*)
6. Birthdays are killing me. I think I should just give off money instead of cracking my brain to get a present.
7. I’m damn high now. (not horny pls.)
8. oh, i’m going crazy over my mood swings. Angsty vs hype
9. I need to end my life right now. (ok, I’m kidding.)

dead tired.
I love and hate the way it is.
The overwhelming sentiments make me look like a hyper sensitive freak.
Apathy, it keeps occurring. And it always hit me harder each time.
What the hell is wrong?
The staggering emotions or the indifference? I hope I know.
Too much crap from all over the place.
Too many voices that speak of “wise” and “profound” suggestions.
But all I need is one voice.
That voice of truth and love.
I wanna hear what You have to say.
Comeon, screw off those shit from people.
I want Your answer.
Prove it to me You’re always there.

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DEAR JESUS

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Dear Jesus,

You know, I miss You. I miss you quite a lot. And I don’t know how to get by. Everything feels like shit. I feel indifferent. I feel sick. Sick that I’m always an average student. Sick that I don’t seem to excel. Sick and tired that I can’t speak off my mind. Sick that I can’t be who I really am. But yet Lord, who am I?

Honestly, I don’t know how to get by life with you. All these stuffs going on, it seems too much. When I put every pieces of my life together, it felt as if I’m solving a never ending puzzle. I wanna live in a façade. Maybe it feels better. Maybe dwelling in parties ain’t that bad after all. So what if they’re deceiving with the colors and the prettiness in it?

Lord, will Your creation come to pass? Will what you intended me to be ever come to pass? What if I don’t? Do you have a plan B for me? Or You’ve got no plan B? Your promises; I’m not convinced. Not at all. Lord, prove it. Prove it that your plans are always the best. Prove it that whatever you created will come to pass.

I don’t know what I need. Maybe all I need was you all along.

How true can all these be? How relevant even can all these shit be? Lord, I hated the fact you’re the only way for every other alternative. I hated it when you’re always in control. I honestly hated it. Because if you’re in control, probably you can make things work out.

Like I doubted, if ever your plans for me come to pass? If yes, prove it Lord.

withlove-- lora.

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shit.

Friday, April 10, 2009

pretty pretty busy.
tired. bummed.jaded. drained. fagged. wornout. zonked.
Wondered, if whatever i'm doing ever amounts to something.
It felt meaningless. It felt totally hollow.

i miss the old times; the old friends; the old life.
But i lose it. i lose everything.
did i? Tell me i didn't, cause at least i have you.

party crashes. late bike rides. what there's not.
tell you, they don't mean a thing.
i thought i don't need you.
probably i was wrong.
and maybe you're right on how my life's gonna turn out.
i don't heed. i don't listen. i don't say. i don't know.
yet, what i feel speaks most of.
hey there, what aches most was the fact that i disappoint.
i love you; wondered if this means anything anymore.


school's shit. what more for life.

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