"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn

Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

@ lolalimlumlabe_92@hotmail.com

Adina Amanda Amethyst Chenchen Esthergoh Estherlee Fionalim Gladys Jono Kennethleow Rachel Yijun Yuhong

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I watched inkheart already!
One word, disappointment.
It's not THAT mystical, magical & gorgeous.It is, but it's just not THAT as the way I expected it to be probably.
Oh well, the book is soo much better.
And basta turned out to be some FREAKkkk! He's this jack black look-a-like. (you get the picture uh. uggh.)
but but but BUTTTTTT, FARID TURNED OUT EVEN BETTER THAN I EXPECTED!
He's SOOO cute. I love his accent. totally man.
in the book, dustfinger is a total wimp. but he turned out alot better in the movie. He's like this macho guy. I kinda like it actually.

HAHA. Alright. enough of my movie review. it's getting a little superficial. AHA.

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on a serious note,
many things are not the same anymore. not starting to be angst or anything. but I'm trying to convince myself in believing that.
there's alot of things I wanna be honest with, towards many of you guys. but somehow or rather, it's best you don't know anything.
I hope in different ways, it'll get personal to every single person who reads this. my close friends, cliques, buddies, girlfriends, etc etc.
i love and treasure every single one of you. I truly do.
I know many times you can tell from my expression, my face, my actions, whatever you can tell from, that I'm not exactly at my very best. In simple terms, I'm not doing quite well.
And that many times, when you ask about my current being, I simply manage with only a few words.
you know what, I'm fine, really fine.
there's certain roadblocks in my life. and it's really frustrating. but i'm doing fine in getting stuffs sort out. Please trust me on that.
I hope to walk this alone myself. not trying to act tough or what. but there's nothing anyone can do in fact. It's my own emotional barrier I gotta deal with. I don't need you to be there for me always. I don't need you to provide me with advices. I don't need you to fork out time. I don't need any sacrifices. I don't expect anything from you. Not becos I'm angry with you guys, not becos I'm being too prideful or too humble. But becos, no one can do anything about it. And you don't have to feel bad about not being there or not not being able to help.
you know, it simply touches my heart to know you did care. I didn't change at all. All the way from the start, I've always been the same. like i said, things are not the same anymore, but I'm still the same. Lora. you know, lora. haha. yea.
I'll be back, I promise. (whatever this means.)
and see you around soon. (:

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HEY!
I've this sudden urge to blog about this.
INKHEART IS OUT ON THURSDAY.

Ok, I dare to say that IT'S GOING TO BE NICE. And I dare to say that IT'S THE BEST MOVIEEEEE.

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did some thorough packing in my room.
I love it when I bought pretty fancy boxes and store all my love notes, encouragement cards, photos, drawings, little gifts, quick notes into them. once in a while, i would open up those boxes and look through those stuffs. some are rather funny; some just trigger all the tears in your eyes.

I realise how all these boxes are like stored memories. How all those stuffs are kept somewhere deep down but yet close to your very being.

It's a closure I guess. A closure of a phase.

and for my past four years of secondary school life & outta-school life (other friends from DEANS, champs, etc. basically associations.). It's been alot of fun, joy,laughters, wildness, hardwork, tears, hectic-ness, etc, etc. gone through alot of stuffs. some remained vivid. others I chose not to remember.
many things could have been better, and I do have alot of regrets as well. But I suppose, it's only when there's regrets will I then learn to treasure.

It's been tough especially last year with so much stuffs happening. and somehow, I seem to have brought my past along with me. Not a good sign uh. Oh well, that's another storyfor some other time.

But as I recalled, I do enjoy myself alot. With the friends I had, with the love and bond we had. It's quite unbearable.
All the crazy ideas. Like sneaking out at 2am in the morning and waited for macdonalds to change their menus to breakfast. Going to the park at 2am to spot lovers making out. Riding on a motorbike with such a high speed without my helmet on. Having sleepovers and played our ultimate papaya game! Going to esplanade at 2am with our instruments and jammed at the stage with no audience, having to clap at our own performance. Swimming in the Singapore River and got mistaken as some illegal immigrants. and there's definitely more. And I love it to bits.

I totally embrace them. But I need a closure. As I placed the lid over the box, it's sealed. A closure to this phase of my life. Good or bad, I'm moving on to the next phase.

**************** Alright. This fateful day where I got my results which in my opinion totally sucks!
L1R5 = 15
L1R4 = 12
minus one cca point, so would be L1R5 = 14
Arrghh. I'm not happy, not satisfied, not contented, not sad as well. Just one expression, uh.
Honestly, I know I could have done better. But well, what's done is done.
The results are so not here nor there. Aiming to get into a DECENT jc which I doubt I can. HAHA.
ARRGH. I don't wanna study anymore. Oh pls, I want to just join the TAI TAI ASSOCIATION for good! (provided there's one.) HAHAHA
Ok, for my english results was a lil disappointing. Wait, it's VERY actually. Well, i know what went wrong at least. What an irony to get B3 for eng, and A2 for lit when literature's distinction is freaking low (30%, around there).
and my 'dear' teacher said this to me: "Hmm, lora, you did fairly well. But well, if you had actually done all of my essays and gone for all my supplementary classes, you could have easily secured yourself an A."
I feel like bashing her up honestly.
but glad that I got my B3 for Amath. For once in my life I passed Amath. I didn't even pass it for prelims! HAH. Well, I guess my mugging for Amath paid off somehow.
Nothing much to say for my results already.
So, a sneak preview of it.

**************** year 2008 had ended. what a year. and I would like to start off with year 2009 talking about my dad.
I shall start off by telling you how much I disliked him. Or maybe, I should say, how much I hated him. Well, basically just lotsa of misunderstandings & miscommunication. And I felt that he was totally unreasonable, demanding & ridiculously irresponsible. We bickered very often. And we simply can't meet eye to eye with each other. So, most of the time, we rather not talk.
But I guess our relationship gradually improved in year 2008. I felt awfully touched and moved by a few things that he did.
1) he never fails to bring the family out for dinner despite all the inconveniences of fetching and picking us up from different venues. he's the family driver. HAHA. =)
2) he will always be there to give me a massage when I had a sprained ankle/neck/back. and it's really very good. =)
3) he will stay at home on a sunny weekend so that our washed(wet) clothes can get to be dried asap. (he usually had lotsa events and plans, but turned them down for the clothes. HAHA.)
4) he is also the one who catches the lizards in my room, and the beetles. (i'm not afraid of beetles, my brother is.)
5) he will never fail to read my blog everyday. (i found out recently.) and though he reads, he don't judge or even points finger at my thoughts and actions which might not be totally decent.

And while my mom is working hard outside, my dad will be the homemaker. this year, I begin to see how noble and sacrificial he is. I begin to love and respect him more. this is a picture of him!

Alright. This first post shall be dedicated to my dad. =)

to shannon : haha. I didn't force you, like literally force alright. but I wrote my first post of 2009 instead of the last post of 2008. HAH. to yijun : CHUA YONEX! you know what you didn't do. and you know you're so DEAD!

I know you'll be reading this. just wanna thank you for all that you've done. all the little little things, are so wonderful. and though many times, we argued, I guess somehow we realised how much more we need each other in our lives. sorry for the times when I was a bad kid. and I love you. I know I haven't said enough of that. but you know I truly do.

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