"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn

Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

@ lolalimlumlabe_92@hotmail.com

Adina Amanda Amethyst Chenchen Esthergoh Estherlee Fionalim Gladys Jono Kennethleow Rachel Yijun Yuhong

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PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE % Pictures: Photobucket
% Brushes/Fonts: Henri Eshita
% designer: Weannz
% Basecode: Weannz

Well, I rarely blogged about my routines cause it will be dead boring. But I shall update you briefly about my week.
THIS WEEK, I have been mugging really hard with various group of friends (school, church & childhood mates). It was pretty productive and I definitely feel the heat of O's. I know that studying was enjoyable but studying for O's was definitely not. Oh yes and my prelim results are out. It was atrocious I should say, but I kinda expected it. With late-nights out and movies, what excellent results should I expect? I will have to buck up.
LAST WEEK, Ade gave me a shock with her return from Aust. A few of us (me, rach & daryl) hang out and got ourselves some happy time spent as well. It was indeed crazy and enjoyable! HAHA. When I see Ade, it seems like there's so much to tell her. But somehow, I could only manage to update her about my recent on-goings. And she flew off on a sunday night.

"You are always at my call and it feels as if you ought to be so. Yet, when you leave, it became clearer that I ought to treasure more."


Some photos of the crazy night at cold rock!

We took madily-crazy photos in the middle of Holland V!

that's all folks of my entourage! byyeeeee. =)
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**************** **************** I always thought that ignorance is bliss.

It was dark and cold. I saw a familiar face, one that I grew up with; my childhood friend. He sat at the corner of the stairway, cringed. Trembling, he held his gaze to the floor. His face was pale and he heaved heavily. His forlorn gaze looked as if he couldn’t hold on any longer after tonight. Our eyes met. His shiverish hand reached out to me, like a cry for help. I looked deep into his eyes and I recalled the times when I was bullied. And I saw the way I was being beaten and kicked around. I wasn’t merely abused physically, but emotionally as well. However, in my heart, I no longer harbour any sort of bitterness as I know that the Lord has made my life new and all hurts were gone. Yet, I didn’t take his hand. I walked away, ignorance of his state. I told myself, I didn’t owe him anything and I didn’t need to help him as well. I ignored, thinking, ignorance is bliss.

As I walked, the sky gradually became brighter. The air was fresher. And I could feel the wind blowing against my hair. I stopped at a junction. And I saw a familiar face, one who taught me and instill values in me which result to who I am now; my leader. She was walking to and fro along the junction and didn't seem to be her usual self; her happy self. She appeared troubled. Something must have happened. Then, she looked at me with those sorrowful eyes and reached out her hand to me. I looked deep into her eyes. And I looked down. No, I can’t help her. She is too much for me to handle. She’s my leader, and she should know better in handling her own problems. I won’t be any help for her. And I ignored that hand. I pretended I didn’t know. I walked away. I ignored, thinking ignorance is bliss.

As I continued walking, I reached this garden. It was filled with beautifully scented flowers. The sun was glowing as its rays splashed over the field flooded with flowers, causing a uniform color of golden brown on every flower, lightly tinted. I breathed in deeply as the air filled my lungs. It was beautiful and refreshing. As I walked towards the pond, I saw a familiar face, one whom I didn’t talk much with; my acquaintance. She sulked and she sobbed. She looked up to me and reached out her hand. I knew what happened. I was there that fateful night. We were alone in that chalet and went out for barbeque after that. Suddenly, someone stormed towards her and yelled that she stole a wallet. She profusely shook her head and said she didn’t take it. However, it was found in her possession. She was labeled as a thief. In my heart I knew it wasn’t her at all. It was a trap set up to harm her. I witnessed someone setting that trap. But I kept quiet. I told myself, no, I can’t say anything or else I will create trouble for myself. Besides, I didn’t know her too well. Upon knowing the mockery and humiliation she’ll get, I walked away, refused to take her hand. I kept silence. I ignored, thinking ignorance is bliss.

As I walked further down, I saw a familiar face. It was my Lord and Saviour. He looked at me and I reached to Him for I know He’s perfect. However, he appeared indifferent. He didn’t smile and He didn’t take my hand either. The atmosphere was dry and dull.
The Lord asked, “Do you love me?”
I replied, “Always Lord.”
“Do you really love me?” the Lord asked again.
I looked up and answered, “Yes, Lord. I have always loved You.”
The Lord looked away and said, “No, you didn’t. You hurt me. Why didn’t you love my people the way I loved you? If you love me, you would do so.”



My heart started to ache as the Lord replayed all those familiar faces in my mind. I was given a glimpse of their sad world. I felt what they felt. I know what it’s like to be like them. And I remembered the constant tug at my heart when these people are in need of my help, yet I chose to ignore and pretend that it wasn’t my affairs to bother.

I always thought that ignorance is bliss. But the Lord thought me something. Ephesians 4: 18 states, “They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.”

"Oh Lord, let my heart be as soft as dove. Open my heart and eyes to the works of Your hands. Let me be sensitive to Your people and show me how to love the way You loved."
**************** "I miss you badly and desperately. Bad enough to bring myself to think of you the whole day and neglect my responsiblities. Desperate enough to replay every moment we spent together just to satisfy that moment of felicity. All of the things that I thought were so easy, just got harder and harder each day. "

It's tough. No one ever said it was easy. But I guess it's part and parcel of life that you just gotta get over. No matter how unfavourable you feel it is in this relationship, or even how you feel that wring in your heart, you need to really push on. If you were to choose to dwell in those memories, you will never know what greater plans God has installed for you. And that, you will miss out even more of what God can truly offer you. Like I always say, don't deprive yourself from God's blessings. Likewise, don't deprive yourself from being someone you ought to be.

You can't live forever,you can't always be. One day you'll be sand on a beach by a sea.The pages keep turning, but mark off each day with a cross. ****************

This is THE BIG BANG THEORY! This TV series is very hilarious! It's not a science- fiction. It's a comedy!

Marvin, you should go catch it! And to the rest of the people, you should go watch it too. HAHAHA.

**************** Hmm. As I looked back, I realised that 2008 is coming to an end. And it seems crazily fast. Ups and downs. Highs and lows. All been there. So much I learnt, so much I need to learn.
One thing that God never fail to bless me with is friends. Friends who care. Friends who allow me to be who I really am. Friends who never judge and condemn like the world does. Friends who truly love. And that's what that keeps me going sometimes.
Many people I would like to thank them individually and I had no idea how to do so. I looked behind my eyes, and faces started to flash. Every face, every person meant a lil something in my heart. As I reminisced, I smiled warmly. I never thought that these people would bring so much joy in my life.
And I really thank God for them. No matter where they are, what they are doing right now; no matter how they are doing, or how they've changed, I choose to believe they are who they were when we talked and got together, lovely and beautiful. That scent in my heart will linger and it gets stronger each time I reminisce.


On a lighter note,I wanna specially thank her. SUYIN! Yes, she is LOUD, CRAZY and ANNOYING. She's the BIMBO everyone can tell. She's pretty self-obsessed too. HAHAHA.
Well, that's probably the way she appeared to you. In fact, she's a very nice and sweet person. She can be that crazy friend who bring laughter to you. She's one of the most truthful and sincere friend who never put a fake front. That's her. And she's one of the people I thanked God for.



"It's been a long time we hang out. Many times we broke, many times we stood. And it definitely brings us closer. Busy-ness always seem to have its way to get us away from each other. But know that it doesn't bring me away from missing you! Be strong and keep moving against the flow. Thank God for you and you've been great. Study hard for A's and take care."


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