"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn
Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.
desires
I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.
It's Micbay's little baby sis, Nicole Bay! I love these two photos! It's taken eons ago. I think I wanna have babies now. hahaha. Seriously, I would really wanna have 5 kids, I mean if I can. My math teacher was sharing with the class the other day that women who have very flexible or stretchable vagina (there's a more accurate and scientific term for it, but I dk what it's called), should give birth more.
I'm suppose to be studying now, and compensate for sleeping the whole afternoon. But I guess I just lose my momentum to do so. Procrastination sets in. And here I am, blogging more than usual lately, waiting for bf to call at the same time. Well, this week has been hell. Totally exhausted and emotionally draining. I quarrelled with my teacher, I piss M off. Sucks right. Totally.
But thank you, cos for you, it makes all these a lil more bearable.
And to gladys, Imy too! I saw your msg, but I've limited sms, so I didn't reply you. Wanna talk to you tooo! Hope you see this! Ttys. And bay, miss you too. Can't find a chance to talk to you. But we will, someday. (:
Things will get better.
This vid triggers alot in me.
****************
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
SCHOOL'S BEEN AN ASS. Omg, I think I'm dying. I can't take it anymore. I realised that I have to study so much, but I'm left with less than 36 weeks. Wth. Nowadays, I wake up and stared at the ceiling and told myself, shit, I'm one day closer to A levels. And I can't make it.
I can't do math. It's just tough. How is it possible for people to get over 80percent for math? FREAK PLS. And econs has so much content to take in. CSE, VICTOR SUCKS. HE CAN'T TEACH. And worse, I'll never do these subjects in Uni. So wtf am I studying this?
I miss going out and play. :( I really have no time to meet up with my peeps. I miss jo, dan and all! vonzo, ash, shaun and jaslyn, yj, tommy and daryl. :( I'M SO DEPRIVED.
FUCK A'S. I'm an emo kid now, leave me alone.
****************
Saturday, February 13, 2010
This was me recently. So damn shag. So much so that all my energy is channelled to school which left me less to dwell on anything or anyone.
I read my lit text last night, I couldn't understand a shit Harold pinter was trying to portray and ended up dozing off. When I woke up, I realised that certain things he said just makes sense. I wonder if it was his theory, but there's this saying that in the world of absurdity, there's no rules, no laws, no regulations. And maybe not even morals nor ethnics.
Every beginning need not have an ending. Every ending need not be a pleasant one. Everything we do need not have a purpose. Not everything you thought is what it is. There's no such thing- good or bad, right or wrong.
This sounds totally unconventional. But fact is, the world we live in has been transforming to the tune of this theory.
"I've tricks in my pocket, I've things up my sleeve. But I am the opposite of a stage magician. He gives you illusion that has the appearance of truth. I give you truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion." - Tennessee Williams. Omg, I just realised that I kinda complete my hw for lit. Cos I manage to have a rough interpretation of what the heck Pinter is trying to say.
And I saw the angbao my mommy gave me! I shall date my books real soon. And my thoughts are fragmented. I'm in this philosophical mode, hahaha. Ok, I'm becoming like tommy. Whatever. I'm going back to sleep. at 2pm in the afternoon.
****************
Thursday, February 4, 2010
MADNESS.
Last week, few girls went into a shopping frenzy. Good buys, totally excited. Felt all the stress loaded off. Nerissa! We should seriously shop again SOON.
And sch was...frantic. It's crazy how I've to wake up so early almost everyday. It's a challenge I'm telling you. Miss the class alot. Thanks for taking hw for me, QT. I've got so much to tell you. And ogl was draining. But I do enjoy my mg! (:
I managed to talk to jo on the phone, ranting to her about all the shit that's going on. Thank god she called me, or else I think I'll just break down. And we are going to have a party at your place, I want whisky k, ty. hahaha. I know you planned this for me, ty so much. (:
I guess I've been telling my heart to stop thinking about someone every single day until it finally becomes a routine and I don't notice anymore. But when I saw him, I felt as if I've gone back to square one.
P.s, I've a fetish/crush/funnyfeeling for someone in sch. Oops.
