"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn

Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

@ lolalimlumlabe_92@hotmail.com

Adina Amanda Amethyst Chenchen Esthergoh Estherlee Fionalim Gladys Jono Kennethleow Rachel Yijun Yuhong

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PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE % Pictures: Photobucket
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% designer: Weannz
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BRYAN & NINGYI. You two are so dead. When I came home and switch on the computer, I saw sth on my screen. A really unsightly naked photo of someone. I shan't say who. But I was laughing my head off. Wth. hahahaha.

Sidetrack, Cts are over with a short break of four days. It was a pretty good weekend, I PLAYed really hard. hahahaha. Eyeopener. And I think I've used my breaks to my fullest. Can't be anymore tired.

Recently, I've this sudden urge to quit sch and be an entreprenuer. Sounds cool right. But I haven't give a thought onto what I should do.

These few weeks have been a rather well, self realization to certain things.
1) I realise that my bathing habit is getting serious.
I bath for at least three times a day. And during my exam period, I bathe more than that. Like 5-6 times? That's kinda bad, cause my dad always complain that I'm wasting a lot of water. And it's like as if I've a disease.
2) I think I've been dropping hair lately.
My mom says so, cause she sweeps the floor.
3) Pork is getting more revolting nowadays.
I'm starting to dislike even the smell of it.
4) I miss hewerboy more than I actually I thought I would.
I want him back, away from the stupid jungle trip.
5) Being sadistic is one way to destress.
I rmb experimenting disecting a hamster with a ballpoint pen. Ok now people think Imma sick in the mind. But I believe everyone killed ants before right. So don't judge.

Idk why, but I really would wanna have everyone, everything I need to surround me. Not as if I must be first place in everyone's eye, or first in everything I do. I just need a few. A few friends, a few lovers. Sounds contradicting,but no it's not.
There's so many things that I've to learn. And I need to really humble myself to do so. Cos sometimes I think I know what the hell I'm doing, but in the end, I realise that's not very true. I screw up most of the time.
Well, I think Im writing rather weird nonsense already. Good night.
Oh btw, sch sucks. I hate my life to be a drama.

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I'm suppose to be a nerd mugging my ass off but apparently not. I've something bugging me and I just need to let if off somewhere and I decide to rant on this dying blog.

Guess what, I'm running out of everything. Running out of time, running out of patience, running out of trust, running out of love. Where to get supply? That's dumb I know. Whatever.

I'm running outta trust. I don't know the extent I should trust. It's different from love. I still love you, but I don't trust you. I realised how tough it is to really put my heart into believing when mere words are plain simple. I know I need to find back that trust before I lose all that energy to do so. The source I reckon would be love. But wait, is it really my fault that I lose that trust? Or is it becos of you?

And yes, I'm running outta love and the patience to love. And maybe everyone is feeling the same way towards me as well. Fucked up that you actually have to hold the phone at your ears at the earliest time of the morning and listen to some mad woman blast her rants at you tho everything is pretty much none of your business and you can't do much anyway. Well that sucks. And it sucks to be me. Love can run out, can you actually believe this piece of shit I'm saying? Love runs out...

I just wanna run away to somewhere and talk to the animals. Like as if I actually like ém. The point is, I'm always on the run. Escaping from what I have to face. Escaping from all the answers I've to give. And it's a never ending race. When will I ever stop and learn to face my problems? Someone asked me before. I couldn't answer him right after him. And I still cannot.

Ok, this is an emo piece of crap that I vomitted out. After a few days, certain issues will haunt me again. And guess what, life gets tougher.

Oh yea, happy 18th lorraine. Totally love the steamboat. hahahaha. ty for everything.

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CAPTURE WITHIN A MIND.

Wow. I seriously have no time to keep this blog alive. Well, Year 2 in Jc is really hectic. And I want A's to be over at this instant moment. :(

I lost my momentum to mug this past week. Been hitting town & cq lately. So pls people! IF YOU SEE ME, PLS ASK ME TO STUDY. AND STOP ASKING ME OUT. (esp jo & hewerboy.)

Time: 150am. Just got home with hewerboy. We chilled around the park and talked for pretty long.

Thing is, many stuff have been flickering in my head, like some flash. And I know it's really absurd for me to say such stuff. I know I'm gonna miss you for being away for a month. But I have this strong feeling that somehow I'm gonna lose what I have now. And I hate that feeling of being stripped away, hard & totally unexpected - been there. I don't wanna go through that cycle cos once is enough. Twice is like digging a bigger hole in a wound attempting to heal.

I'm afraid to give you my all. I'm afraid to love you completely. What if behind your beautiful face and kind words, you're just bribing me. Maybe you're just reeling me in until you turn around and drop me. I'd fall so far and never be able to recover. I wish I could see the ending sometimes so that I would know if I should hold on to you and keep going or just let it all end before I get up too high.

Somehow I need the assurance and I don't know how you gonna give it.

I know this is not even an update. A mere note for hewerboy. If you are smart enough, you've already gotten the update - hewerboy. haha. Ok, I'm a lil cranky now. Good night.

Actually two.

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