"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn

Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

@ lolalimlumlabe_92@hotmail.com

Adina Amanda Amethyst Chenchen Esthergoh Estherlee Fionalim Gladys Jono Kennethleow Rachel Yijun Yuhong

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PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE % Pictures: Photobucket
% Brushes/Fonts: Henri Eshita
% designer: Weannz
% Basecode: Weannz

Hello readers. You know, I really wonder how many actually bother to read this space. I thought of having those domino counters to find out how many readers I have. At the same time, I fear that it's so pathetic that no one actually gives a shit about me.

Yea, maybe I'm suffering from inferiority complex. But I guess everyone gets that at some point in their lives. Then again, what if this is going to taunt me for the rest of my life?

I'm considering to move to tumblr. Blogspot is fine. But most users of tumblr are so soul-reflective and sorrowful. And I feel deeply connected with em as my own emotions begin pouring out. Another reason why I wanna move to tumblr is to get rid of haters so I can be brutally honest. Honest of who I am so I don't get judged & mocked, not honest in the bitching sort.

I'm feeling so beleaguered. Feeling so unloved and unwanted. I just wish for someone who could love me just as much as he wishes he could and he would gather some courage to do so. It is painful to love someone so helplessly. It's as if I'm driving on a one-way path with no junctions, no traffic lights, and definitely no U-turns. There's no point of return. Even if my heart is heavy w regrets & ache, I can never diverge to a new path.

To you, love is a game show. It doesn't matter who wins or loses, as long as you had your own share of fun. But love to me is a reality show. It's about hopes and dreams. And when you leave, it's as if you trampled over those hopes and dreams which are carefully knitted specially for you. That feeling of being shattered and fragmented, shamefully stripped apart makes me wonder if I can ever feel whole again.

When the heart takes charge, what is rationality? ****************

Counting down, 8 more weeks to A's. Fingers crossed. Bless me.

School has been tiring, but exceptionally fun.
Pulling hair,
laughing & making weird faces,
shooting wet rolls into the toilet cubicles,
playing hangman & spot the word.
But I've been studying everyday.

I'm feeling hungry soo easily recently. I'm cravinggg for kimchi fried rice & choco jelly.
And everyday my craving changes. Hahaha.
That's why my allowance is running out real fast.

Another reason why I'm in a deficit is becos, I've been shopping massively.
It wasn't like I plan to shop. I was at Novena, getting some candies, and this shop just drew me right in.
Telling myself, no harm taking a mere look.
And I convinced myself, no harm trying it on yea.
Guess what, I'm contemplating whether to buy.
And the lady said, how about I give you an offer.
The next thing, my wallet was out. *smiley face*
I'm really really happy. Gawd. I would text my friends and start giggling while wearing em.
Ok, I'm a lil weird. Hahaha.

Worst of all, I just saw two dresses on a blogshop! And I really really really want 'emmm.
But I'm in a deficit now. So I'm praying hard that it will still be thereee.

Katie Perry's 'California gurls' has been stuck in my head!
Listening to all the bimbo songs makes me wanna sing & dance. Hahaha.
Oh gawddd, I'm turning t be like Stephanie SF!

Oh oh ohh. About my birthday, I really enjoyed it.
Thanks jo for it again. It's always your place! And joehann daniel ng, your gift is so disgusting!
But I really like it a lot. Thankss. (: (:

Thanks Amandaaa, Lorraine, Ner, Vienna and Steph SF. Fatties in the house yoz! hahahaha. Omg. I seriously think I'm becoming like Steph!

Thank you my fatty kewtie pie for the cake & all. You don't hafta do it, but you did it for me anyway. So really thank you boy. I wanna pinch youuu. Heeheeheeheehee.And you haven't reward me yet!

Last but not least, Nana & Luq. Nana, thanks for everything, bf. I love the cameraaa! Sorry about all the missing photos. I'm still figuring how to use it. I realised the photos will turn out pretty with massive sunlight. We see each other soon. Imy!



Nana, chio buuu seh. Hahahaha.

I'm talking alot nowadays. I seriously can't shuddup. That explains my reallyyyyy long post. Hahahaha.
That's good I guess. I'm exceptionally happy. Totally love it!
And I shall blog 'Style your hair Part II' soon. Specially for my dear waikit. Hahahaha.

California gurls we're unforgettable. Daisy dukes bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin so hot we'll melt your popsicle
Oooooh oh ooooooh.

****************

"In those eyes, I see the reflection of a lost girl who likes to get lost in her own entanglement of thoughts. She cannot see the truth. She only believes what she can in order to survive the day. Because sometimes, disenchantments are more surreal and less painful than living each day without him."

I'm tired, I cannot fix this. But Ily no matter what.

****************

BEAR.

I bear my heart.
I wonder if it's worth the try.
If I knew you would lie,
given a second chance,
I stand firm on you.

Eveybody has secrets they never tell.
But I don't need to know everything.
I just need to feel that you are real.

I'm an immovable object.
A stubborn mule,
I take ages to adjust.
So, don't walk into my life if you intend to leave.

Don't stir it up.
Cause once it's woken, I can't stop.

****************