Many times the reason why we don't let go is because we always thought that he was the first love where we never met anybody so alive. But how many bullets are you gonna take for somebody or how many bad things are going to happen to you before realising that feeling alive just ain't enough?
- Blair Waldorf
I feel relieved. It is the sort of feeling that I know I'm going to be okay. And I'm going to turn out fine with or without him. But at the back of my mind, I will always wish that he will somehow be part of my life and I will be part of his. Well, not really being part of each other's lives. To be exact, I want us to be universes of each other.
But we all know people change in due time. Appearance, perspectives, taste and even the heart - it changes with time. How certain can I be that the guy I used to fall for will be the exact same person in years to come? How certain can I even be when it comes to my own heart? Whether what I feel about him will be the same in future?
Truth is, we don't really know what we want. All we always do is simply smile and hope for the best or just leave it to fate.
Yet one day, we will all grow up and know what lies beneath our hearts. If that feeling remains, I will fight for you. And I hope you will do the same. Because I don't believe fate throws us together in order to rip us apart but to teach us patience and possibilities.
Let's wait for us to be perfect - for each other.
SECRETS.
Confession is always weakness. The grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence.
- Dorothea Dix
Many times I choose to be straight honest because I hate lies and secrets. But at the same time, I didn't realise what honesty can actually cost me.
I feel vulnerable. It feels that my honesty can be used against me anytime.
But recently I realise, no matter how honest I wish to be, some truth should remain unheard. Because, secrets are meant to protect.
I love you and that's why I choose to burden myself in solemness.
I'm sorry that you can never know. But that's because I love you.