"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn

Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

@ lolalimlumlabe_92@hotmail.com

Adina Amanda Amethyst Chenchen Esthergoh Estherlee Fionalim Gladys Jono Kennethleow Rachel Yijun Yuhong

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PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE % Pictures: Photobucket
% Brushes/Fonts: Henri Eshita
% designer: Weannz
% Basecode: Weannz

What a day today. It was awful. I never felt so helpless and empty before in this year.
Guess what, I lost my handphone yesterday and today,I forgot to bring my house keys out, worst of all, my ezlink card is spoilt having me unprepared. And I didn't carry any cash with me. Not at all. I was chased out of the bus without any money. So, I actually had to walk all the way from school to Shannon's school which is almost a distance of one mrt station to another. (staying at Shannon's place till my mom come home)
It was really terrible. I can't call. I can't board any transport. I had nowhere to go. I was on the verge of breaking down. Somehow, I just couldn't. Why? I thought. I didn't blame God for anything. I knew that all these happened for a reason. What was it?

Even as I walked and started to pray, God posted this question, "What was it like to lose everything? What would you do? And what if you are asked to live without these things, are you willing to do so for me?"
It just hit me hard, real hard. I could not answer Him. I know it looked like a really small matter. But I didn't think so, and I guess it was the same for God. I suppose it was a lesson learnt; an experience gained; a process to grow.
At that time, I really didn't know how to answer Him. Handphone, ezlink card, cash and keys are the most important things that you carry with everyday. And suddenly, it was all gone. What can I do, I ask myself. I don't even have an answer for that. And if I were ask to live without these things, will I? I really had no idea. It was all materials of the world. But somehow those were essentials for survival. I ended up singing. Singing of How great He is, that He is name above all names and how He's the lover of my soul and He would never let me go.
I know He never let me go. But will I? Will I let Him go? I suppose I will give a 'no' answer. Nay, I won't let Him go. At that time, everything didn't matter at all anymore. If He's the name above all names? Why should I ask for anything below His mighty name? If He's the lover of my soul, what should I love the materials of this world knowing that His love is more than enough?
I told Him, "Lord, if that's what you want me to do, I will. I choose to believe You love me to give me the best. "

Sometimes, all that matters is my God. ****************