"I'm not a born actress, as such, I care about expressing feelings." -Audrey Hepburn

Many times I care too much about feelings and feelings make up my whole world for me. It makes me wonder whether the world I'm living in is the real one. Cause I feel surreal in my own delusion more than anywhere else.

I want to play a grand piano on some gorgeous stage with a million audience.
I want to learn as many instruments as possible; saxophone will be next.
I want to dive in a swimming pool-sized of chocolate fondue.
I want a field flooded with orange daisies.
I want to teleport to Berklee!
I want a library of books with classics, and very very very extremely good books & novels.
I want to own a home movie theatre with my very own ice cream fridge.
I want to direct my own gore movie and write my own gore novel. (this is thrilling.)
I want to get married to some rich guy and be a tai tai. HAH.

@ lolalimlumlabe_92@hotmail.com

Adina Amanda Amethyst Chenchen Esthergoh Estherlee Fionalim Gladys Jono Kennethleow Rachel Yijun Yuhong

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PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE % Pictures: Photobucket
% Brushes/Fonts: Henri Eshita
% designer: Weannz
% Basecode: Weannz

I always thought that ignorance is bliss.

It was dark and cold. I saw a familiar face, one that I grew up with; my childhood friend. He sat at the corner of the stairway, cringed. Trembling, he held his gaze to the floor. His face was pale and he heaved heavily. His forlorn gaze looked as if he couldn’t hold on any longer after tonight. Our eyes met. His shiverish hand reached out to me, like a cry for help. I looked deep into his eyes and I recalled the times when I was bullied. And I saw the way I was being beaten and kicked around. I wasn’t merely abused physically, but emotionally as well. However, in my heart, I no longer harbour any sort of bitterness as I know that the Lord has made my life new and all hurts were gone. Yet, I didn’t take his hand. I walked away, ignorance of his state. I told myself, I didn’t owe him anything and I didn’t need to help him as well. I ignored, thinking, ignorance is bliss.

As I walked, the sky gradually became brighter. The air was fresher. And I could feel the wind blowing against my hair. I stopped at a junction. And I saw a familiar face, one who taught me and instill values in me which result to who I am now; my leader. She was walking to and fro along the junction and didn't seem to be her usual self; her happy self. She appeared troubled. Something must have happened. Then, she looked at me with those sorrowful eyes and reached out her hand to me. I looked deep into her eyes. And I looked down. No, I can’t help her. She is too much for me to handle. She’s my leader, and she should know better in handling her own problems. I won’t be any help for her. And I ignored that hand. I pretended I didn’t know. I walked away. I ignored, thinking ignorance is bliss.

As I continued walking, I reached this garden. It was filled with beautifully scented flowers. The sun was glowing as its rays splashed over the field flooded with flowers, causing a uniform color of golden brown on every flower, lightly tinted. I breathed in deeply as the air filled my lungs. It was beautiful and refreshing. As I walked towards the pond, I saw a familiar face, one whom I didn’t talk much with; my acquaintance. She sulked and she sobbed. She looked up to me and reached out her hand. I knew what happened. I was there that fateful night. We were alone in that chalet and went out for barbeque after that. Suddenly, someone stormed towards her and yelled that she stole a wallet. She profusely shook her head and said she didn’t take it. However, it was found in her possession. She was labeled as a thief. In my heart I knew it wasn’t her at all. It was a trap set up to harm her. I witnessed someone setting that trap. But I kept quiet. I told myself, no, I can’t say anything or else I will create trouble for myself. Besides, I didn’t know her too well. Upon knowing the mockery and humiliation she’ll get, I walked away, refused to take her hand. I kept silence. I ignored, thinking ignorance is bliss.

As I walked further down, I saw a familiar face. It was my Lord and Saviour. He looked at me and I reached to Him for I know He’s perfect. However, he appeared indifferent. He didn’t smile and He didn’t take my hand either. The atmosphere was dry and dull.
The Lord asked, “Do you love me?”
I replied, “Always Lord.”
“Do you really love me?” the Lord asked again.
I looked up and answered, “Yes, Lord. I have always loved You.”
The Lord looked away and said, “No, you didn’t. You hurt me. Why didn’t you love my people the way I loved you? If you love me, you would do so.”



My heart started to ache as the Lord replayed all those familiar faces in my mind. I was given a glimpse of their sad world. I felt what they felt. I know what it’s like to be like them. And I remembered the constant tug at my heart when these people are in need of my help, yet I chose to ignore and pretend that it wasn’t my affairs to bother.

I always thought that ignorance is bliss. But the Lord thought me something. Ephesians 4: 18 states, “They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.”

"Oh Lord, let my heart be as soft as dove. Open my heart and eyes to the works of Your hands. Let me be sensitive to Your people and show me how to love the way You loved."
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