It's may. I used to love the month of may alot.
The idea of flowers blooming and where the sun tainted the field of grass.
And whipped cream splashed all over pretty sundresses.
Having cakes and tea under a huge tree.
Lying on each other backs, laughing and embracing the very moment.
Hoping that the moment would freeze for the joy that we had.
It would be better if I've a picture to show it.
I always believe that the love of God is radical, powerful and so overwhelming. It still is. Until then, it all changed. Everything that used to be swirling and hurling settled down in a jar. It lay there quietly. I thought it was God. It was His change of heart. I was here all along. But I was wrong. It wasn't God, it was me.
What was it that change this heart? This heart that used to yearn for the undying love of God. Where did it go? Is christianityso simple that it's just about loving God and others? Because it always felt like a constant struggle to stay in God's light. A mugging and silent struggle to give things up in life. Or was it merely the state of mind?
"In everything, there's always both sides. The good and the bad. The problem here doesn't lies with which you believe in. But rather, which you choose to amplify and diminsh. It's all in the state of the mind. No one can make it work out unless you think it out yourself. It's all within your ability." Words like these made the whole bus ride home so taxing and heavy. But probably that's all I need to hear.
It's been a long time ever since the past gradually fade and wounds heal in small doses. And I realise it's now time to do something with what I have. No more running away, no more hiding in corners. No more of these.