Monday, July 20, 2009
Oh man, I've got school tmr. I was supposed to be on LOA. But then, it changed. *Dreads*
My results are fairly alright. They are at extreme far lengths!
MATH - D
ECONS - U
LIT - C
GP - E
CSE - B
CL - B
Ok, let's start with the good ones. I was one of the higher scorers for Lit. And Chinese! 3RD in position in class. And CSE, man. TOTALLY PAWNED IT.
Well, math was alright. Not that bad, but could and should have been better. GP was disappointing. And note this, GP DOES NOT go hand in hand with LIT.
Econs is pathetic. I studied the most for this, and ended up failing miserably. I can vomit blood and die.
Ok, on a personal note...
Things have been pretty heavy and vigor, not just in studies but in other areas of my life. I shall be transparent here. I love-hate how things are. Along this path of heartbreaks, I realised many truths for myself. And it certainly changes my perceptive on a large scale. After all, it's our past that shape who we are today, ain't so?
My past, it really put me through alot. And now, as I settle in with what I'm left, it felt so hollow. Like after a huge fire in a forest, everything else would be burnt and you would see a clear vast land with debris. All my hopes and dreams, they were reduced for the second best. Sounds a lil sad, but you would know how it feels to have your hopes pinned so high up and it collapsed. That heartache, totally terrible.
Yet, I'm certain that God will use what I've left and multiply it. But, I'm not sure for myself. I'm not sure if I'm willing devote everything to Him. And I have no idea what is still holding me back. Well, I sound really confuse uh. I am, in fact.
If you are wondering how to relate to what I'm saying, it simply means, my soul desires, but my being is unwilling. I really miss the times when God was so close. And I long for this initimacy.
Recently, there are so many heavy thoughts which make me come to a point where I realised, it's time I make a decision. I can't stay at the junction for too long. And I did, I wanna return to my very heart of worship. I want to, but something don't seem willing to.
That's just a slice of my many many thoughts. HAHA.
Alright, below is ripped from Rachel's blog.
To all my dear sci - atheists out there, it's my love note to you : Science has been used to contradict the faith of Christians for many years now. Now you'd be saying "Oh but didn't God create science? How can his creation contradict him?"
I disagree, God didn't create science. He created the world. Science is the method of how humans comprehend God's created world. And it's very myopic.
Get this right. Science will never support your faith. Never. Science is indeed the antithesis of faith. But guess what? God didn't say, research and prove that I exist. or logically deduce that I exist. No we were simply told to have faith.
Honest to blog, you never know whether the science we believe in is right. Everyday new hypotheses are being formed.
You see, what if the big bang theory wasn't the opposite of creation, but the method how God created the universe?Or what if the mystic state of our mind, is indeed spirituality? It's the inbuilt part of our brain that God put there to help us experience the spirituality. Maybe somewhere in our brain is where our soul rests. You never know.
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