CHEAP THRILLS W SOME TEQUILA.
The whole week I'm either stuck in the library or home attempting to study. And I think I'll seriously flung my midyears badly. Real bad. I've no motivation to study. And everyday, I dread. HOW? :(
I need some fun.
On a personal note...
Walking down memory lane-opening boxes of notes, letters, photos and gifts. Reminiscing some wonderful good ol' days. Pangs of anxiety and frustration stirred within my heart. I regretted at some point. Regretted not mustering that courage to face up with my feelings and the people around me. Regretted that a relationship I used to hide has transformed into cycles of emotional wreck.
I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. Most of the time we make up that reason for what has happened. We elude ourselves and play pretence. Things happen because we cause it to happen be it intentionally or unknowingly. We make decisions of what's going to happen next. It's simply the idea of cause and effect.
I tried to reason out the things that happen in my life. But i realise there's no other way in finding answers except through asking the heart what it truly wants.
I learn to face up with my feelings whether or not it's deemed to be wrong or immoral in the eyes of others. So what if people disapprove of me, at least I'm true to myself. And I assure that I'm true to my friends. Guess what people who disapprove are usually the biggest liars. They lie to people who they really are. Worst of all, they lie to themselves, denying of what they want. These 'friends' are so sincere aren't they?
They make me laugh. And luckily, you showed me your true colours when you yelled at me outside the lecture theatre during a supposed renewing camp. Cause now I know I don't have to play your game anymore.
Stop pretending you're all holy, pretending you embrace all sorts of people when you actually asked people to leave. I will never forget how this Christian ask me to leave because She thinks I'm inappropriate. You're damn fake.