This tiny wrecked space is for my unsatisfied heart w profuse rants that shun people away. Feeling like I'm in a shithole. I feel binded by all the shit people say or do.
Many are in this pretence of being tough and independent, but I shall be the first to admit that I'll kill myself if I'm going to live life without anyone. That would mean me alone in the world. Is that even possible.
I'm even more jaded when I'm in the slums compared to me out in the world, on the go for some kind of fun. This routinary life is fucked up. No way am I going to continue my life with that after 12 years of education.
The only comfort I can get was by reading about people lives from different era, of people from the Bronte sisters to Marilyn Monroe, from Shakespeare to Michael Jackson, everyone is in their own kind of struggle. Struggle and pain are inundated in life. No matter how improved we are, how advanced and all those shit, we are still in this struggle. It's a common oppression everyone seems to undergo.
It makes me question where the hell is the humanity everyone is talking about? Or maybe struggling is part of humanity. Did I just answer my question. Fuck.
After reading what I just rambled, you would advise me to grab some rest cause I appear tired. But guess what, everyday I go through this tiresome and helpless process of struggle. And many times I don't know what the heck I'm struggling for/with.
Fuck. People use this word because they just don't know any other way to describe the feeling they are experiencing. And it's the shortest way to express that deepest and lowest emotion. Apathy w grief.
****************