Alright, been updating alot more these days. Probably due to the inundated amount of information processing in my brain since I've been studying quite a bit. So, I'm here to chuck some crap from my brain so I can store more information on market failure. Haha.
Ok, time check, 230am. And I just woke up from sleeping at 8pm. I'm feeling alil drowsy, alil cranky and yeah, alil high? Haha. Not a good sign for my Econs paper. Hopefully I won't be dead by 2pm.
So today, this song, Tonight, is stuck in my head which totally brings back a whole load of memories. People say we hold on to memories because that's the only thing that remain constant. Yea, and I totally agree, because I'm this emo nemo kid who is rather delusional sometimes where I always find myself alternating between my reality and my past. I don't seem to be able to deviate myself away from feeling alot for my past. Ok, that sounds like I'm writing my lit paper 5. Oh yeah, my lit paper 5 was pretty okay. Hopefully my grades will show tho.
And yes, I'm very sentimental, (apparently someone used this word on me). I always seem like I'm moving, always changing, but I guess I'm rather constant in many ways. And maybe that's why I'm always twinged in my own feelings, some called it self-entrapment. I loved someone alot but recently I realised what moving on really is. There's a huge difference between moving on and getting through it. I got through it all, yet somehow when I love someone, truly love someone, I never stop loving. People are impressed of how much I can give. But I say it's crazy. It drives me crazy. Because these fast moving people make me feel so ever lonely. Makes me feel disconnected like I'm someone who lacks that confidence to feel allowed to exist.
Yeap, I guess I gotta grab some hot chocolate and read my econs now. Seeyall.
It's when I'm standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words
to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream
to the whole room that I'm still in love with you. It's when I'm sitting alone
with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade
a thousand tomorrows for just one day yesterday. Then I could just call you
to tell you goodnight. It's when I'm really sad about something and need someone
to talk to that I realize you're the only one who really knew me at all.
It's when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much
I would give to hold you at that very moment. I think about you
that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me.
-A Million Little Pieces
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